It's fair to say I'm teetering on the brink at the moment.
I'm working overtime to help out an already overstretched department which is causing me some conflict. My littlest boy JB has a cough and cold virus, which means C and I are currently surviving on 3 hours of sleep a night. I haven't finished my Christmas shopping, and I've got kids' Christmas concerts coming out of my ears, and to top it off I've got sciatica, so whilst everyone around me is enjoying the growing festivities, I'm upset to say I feel a little Bah Humbug.
Not like me you say...
So what's bugging Karen Roderick?
When I got the call to say I was going back to work after almost 15 months at home I was ecstatic. A wiser, less selfish woman I was ready to face The Machine, vowing I would not let it crush me a second time. Seven months later and I'm struggling.
For a variety of reasons.
I love my Profession. Trained damned hard for it. Still do. It's The Machine that gets me down, and those that oil it.
But I'm too small to fight it, so a little voice tells me to give up, and then I frown, turn up the radio and sing with Tom Delonge as loud and as passionate as I can, and then I think this...
I'm better than that, stronger than that, and so I won't let it beat me and I'll continue to strive to be the best I can. Which I will make sure is pretty damned great!
Bah Humbug be gone...Merry Christmas!
All photos from Debrett's 'Etiquette for Girls' by Fleur Britten.